Through the...

Pain, you have to understand where my hearts at. Im still goin through the misery. I thought that I was ready to move on, but we can't help what we feel. I don't want to take my past and put it all on you, that's why I'm not sure whether I want to take things further. I don't want to hurt you along the way, because I can tell it has already affected you too. I'm sorry that I didn't consider how you'd feel, I was bein selfish and only thought about myself. But really, it isn't gettin any better. Everytime I feel like I'm ready to let go, I have second thoughts. Urgh, why is it so complicating...I know I'm stuuuuuupid for having feelings for him STILL!. Well, what's the point in trying to move on when all I can think of, is him. Haaaw, I don't even wanna try anymore. It's like apart of me wants to change, but it seems like NOTHING IS NEVER GOING TO CHANGE what I feel for him. So, to make things easy for myself and for others..I'm just gonna hold my own for now. None of that relationship shit, I don't need it. It's just a waste of my energy and time. I'm sorry if I'm sounding like a bitch, but honestly it's true. If I were to be in a relationship again, I think I'd be a selfish, heartless, bitch -_____-.